A Documentary Wedding Photographer’s Advice To Couples

If you’re a person who is nervous in front of the camera, then you’re most likely going to be nervous and intimidated about having your wedding photos taken. How does someone feel the most confident in photos on their wedding day? While a big piece of the confidence aspect stems from finding the right wedding photographer, there is a bit more depth to answering this question. Maybe it’s the style of photography you’re after. For example, documentary style wedding photography is all the “rage” right now (and for good reason). It feels natural and showcases the joy and fun everyone has on your big day. But not everyone feels confident automatically “being themselves” in front of the camera, and more especially on their wedding day.

Your wedding day is a milestone event, one that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Amid the whirlwind of activities and emotions, it’s important to stay grounded and focus on what truly matters. Sometimes, however, that is easier said than done. Especially with the high expectations social media often portrays wedding days and “how” everything should look (including ourselves). I have started hearing a lot from my initial inquires with couples, to the point where I could dedicate a whole series of blog posts on the “fears and worries” couples have and how they’re often very similar in nature.

These are the most common questions I hear from couples:

• “Do you have tips on planning a wedding from a photography perspective?”
• “How long is the ideal time to have with a wedding photographer?”
• “What moments throughout the day should we photograph?”
• “We don’t love being in front of the camera. How can we feel confident and natural on our wedding day?”
• (The most common) “We aren’t photogenic”, or “we’re really awkward in front of the camera.”…”can you help us with that?”

In summary, there are a plethora of questions and concerns regarding how to make the most of wedding day moments, and I’m here to address my thoughts on this subject.

As a documentary photographer, I pay attention to the moments throughout the day that are organic, candid, and that evoke emotion. This style of photography is very “trendy” right now, but not in a way that will become outdated. The reason this photography work speaks to people is because it is raw and includes very little intervention on the photographer’s part. There is an emphasis on you living and experiencing your day as is. Do I support you in the moments where you need a little help (the most common being, “Syd, what do I do with my hands?!”). That’s a big “YES, of course!” But the beauty of what I specialize in is allowing people to be and celebrate who they are.

Despite the joy you being “you”, I have seen a lot of couples in the past few years or so feeling an immense amount of pressure to just exist in their wedding. As if they need to be “on” all the time. Always looking photogenic. Always having the “perfect, soft smile”. Constantly getting the right angle and never having a hair out of place. I wish more couples felt the confidence that I already see and have in them. What I want most for my couples is for them to feel safe enough to simply exist throughout their day and not miss the magic of celebrating these immaculate moments as they happen surrounded by their closest people.

How to set yourself up to feel the most confident on your wedding day.

What is the “magic fix” to wedding planning? While I don’t think it’s a big secret, I think it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger goal—marrying your best friend. Your day will be perfect just the way it is and in all its moments. Trust your team, and trust YOU. Listen to your gut on what a perfect wedding day looks like for you both. Together, you can achieve something beautiful that will feel perfect because it is “you”.

So, it seems counterintuitive to give advice on how to achieve this mindset on your wedding day, but like many things in life we’re nervous about, pep-talks can help get us to our desired mind space. Let’s dive into a few ways you can help yourself out both leading up to and on your wedding day.

Here are five tips for engaged couples to ensure their wedding day is as magical and stress-free as possible.

1. Prioritize Self-Care: The excitement and anxiety of a wedding day can be overwhelming. Start your day with a moment of calm—whether it’s a quiet breakfast, a brief walk, or a quick meditation session. Staying hydrated and eating well is crucial, as you’ll need the energy to get through the day. Remember, if you’re feeling good, you’ll be better able to enjoy every moment.
2. Delegate Responsibilities: You don’t have to do everything yourselves. Delegate tasks to trusted friends, family members, or your wedding planner if you have one. Whether it’s ensuring the flowers are in place, coordinating with the caterer, or managing the timeline, having a reliable support system allows you to focus on what’s important—each other. I also make it a priority to know what my couples want out of their day to ensure I can advocate for them when communicating with guests, family, or vendors. I’ve got your back!
3. Be Present: It’s easy to get caught up in the logistics and minor details, but remember the real reason for the celebration: your love and commitment to each other. Take moments throughout the day to pause, look around, and soak in the atmosphere. These mental snapshots will be some of your most cherished memories. Pro-Tip: If you’re introverts or want a moment to yourselves, then incorporate 10 minutes of “you time” after your ceremony. You can communicate with your wedding party, photographer, and planner that you want to have this time just to yourselves. There can also be some refreshments and snacks waiting for you so that you can recharge before family photos begin.
4. Communicate with Your Partner: Amidst the hustle and bustle, make sure to check in with each other. A simple smile, holding hands, or a whispered “I love you” can help keep you both centered. These small moments of connection will remind you that you’re in this together, no matter what the day brings. This goes for the planning process as well. It is so important to be on the same page. Sitting down with one another and choosing how you want to be intentional with your wedding day will be a game changer throughout the rest of the planning process.
5. Embrace Imperfections: No wedding is perfect, and unexpected hiccups are bound to happen. Whether it’s a sudden change in weather, a late vendor, or a minor wardrobe malfunction, try to take it in stride. These imperfections often become the stories you’ll laugh about later. Focus on the joy of the day and remember that the most important thing is that you’re marrying the love of your life. This is also a good time to give a little extra piece of advice—add buffer time to your timeline. Seriously…it’s a game changer.

By following these tips, you can ensure that your wedding day is not only beautiful but also filled with meaningful, unforgettable moments. Enjoy every second, and remember that this is just the beginning of your incredible journey together. Invest time finding the people who will support you most on your wedding day—both in helping you in the planning process and helping to ensure you both feel supported on the day of. Remember, I’m with you every step of the way!